The Myth of the Single Black Female in America

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As a general rule of thumb, I usually refrain from bringing up the subject of marriage with single black women.

You never know when it might be a sore spot.

But over the weekend, an article in The New York Times resonated with so many African-American female friends it couldn’t help but spark a discussion.

In an opinion article titled “Black, Female and Single,” writer Angela Stanley wrote about her situation as an educated single black woman who has to regularly explain to inquiring minds why she isn’t married.

“Few things in life are more irritating than the unsolicited comments I get that black women, like me, are unlikely to marry,” wrote Stanley, a researcher at Ohio State University. “Family members ask: ‘Are you ever going to get married?’ as if I am remaining single purposely to keep them from attending my wedding.”

She continues: “I’m almost positive the people in my life don’t mean to add to the anxiety I already feel about being single in my 30s without children. Implicit in some of their comments is the idea that my failure to marry is beyond my control, a function of being born black and female.”

Stanley used U.S. census data to refute some common misconceptions about black women like her that have been referenced in previous articles, including a commonly held belief that due to a lack of suitable partners, 70% of black women never get married at all.

“According to 2009 data from the Census Bureau, 70.5% of black women in the United States had never been married – but those were women between the ages of 25 and 29,” Stanley said. “Black women marry later, but they do marry.”

In fact, by age 55 and older, Stanley found only 13% of black women had never been married.

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The Myth of the Single Black Female in America