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by Dr. Boyce Watkins, Your Black World
The always interesting and entirely lovable Demetria Lucas wrote a very nice article on TheRoot.com asking whether or not men avoid successful women. I had to chime in on this one. For the busy and successful women who are reading this, I will try to save your valuable time and cut to the chase. Here are the reasons why some men might choose to avoid some successful women:
1) If you are emotionally selfish: Busy people can sometimes have a habit of always believing that they are the most important person in the room. The issues on their mind are always more meaningful than your own, and how they feel tends to matter a lot more than what you’re going through. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a person who will talk all day about her problems and then suddenly have to hang up when you start talking about your own? Well, that’s what it’s like to date the self-important professional who has never learned to reflect or take responsibility for their dating challenges.
2) If you think that your job, shape and beauty automatically make you a great catch: Looking good goes a long way toward getting a man’s attention. But that’s like saying that newspaper starts a big bonfire. The paper might get the fire going, but it doesn’t KEEP the fire going (that can only be done by wood). I don’t care if you look like Beyonce, the fact of the matter is that it is your inner beauty that keeps a man coming back. Men who have lots of options see pretty girls every day. What is rare is a woman who works to be a consistently beautiful, giving and attentive human-being. Unfortunately, inner beauty is not promoted among black women, the same way that men are taught to live empty lives in search of material possessions as false validations of their self-worth.