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Evelyn Lozada is making a comeback and she is using her blog to share what her fans can expect to see from her in the near future. The “Basketball Wives” reality television star shares, on her blog, that she is modeling and recently enjoyed an “AMAZING shoot today in Atlanta with celebrity photographer”.
It’s good to see Lozada seemingly land right back on her feet after what I imagine has been a nightmare of a year. The last time I saw Lozada, she was on “Iyanla, Fix My Life”. While I will admit that as I was watching the show, I was falling in and out of sleep – the effects of a very full working week, but I do remember Iyanla giving her at least one tongue lashing. Iyanla told Lozada that she made a living by behaving like a “thug” on television, referring to her less than exemplary behavior on the show, “Basketball Wives”.
By Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses
My assessment of Evelyn’s appearance on Iyanla’s show is that she was on the show because she had gotten to the point where she realized that her life had spiraled out of control and was willing to do whatever she could to begin to put it together. I can’t imagine any woman who wouldn’t take a man head-butting her as a loud screaming warning to stop and assess what her life has come to.
So now, just a few short weeks after going through an intensive one on one life make-over with Iyanla, we are to believe that Evelyn Lozada is a new woman . While I love the idea of her making a come back and making a fresh start , sans head-butting husband, I am not quite convinced that Ms. Lozada is ready for the spotlight. I understand that “a sister has to eat” and I applaud her for generating an income through whatever talent it takes to lie around in a bathing suit having your picture snapped but I still maintain, she is probably not ready.
Being a woman who has experienced what happens when you “get in a man’s face,” I’m the first to lovingly say to Evelyn: Give yourself time to heal from and process what happened.
Any woman who has experienced the trauma of being physically assaulted by a man, especially one who claimed to love her, needs time to heal and process what happened. How long that healing takes, I can not say. It will obviously vary from woman to woman but even for the most resilient amongst us, a few weeks is just not enough.
It’s easy to jump in and point fingers at Evelyn’s ex-husband, Chad Johnson, for head-butting his wife but a case can be made in his defense that, just like Iyanla pointed out, Evelyn has exhibited some “thug” tendencies. I’m certainly not saying that there is ever a justification for a big strong athletic man, like Johnson, or any man really, to ever put his hands on a woman, even if she acts like a “thug”. What I’m saying is that the seed of abuse lies in both the abuser and the victim and just as the abuser needs “help”, so does the victim.
Evelyn Lozada is perceived as a very beautiful looking woman and I imagine she will always find someone who is willing to put her in front of an audience and get paid for doing so. We all have our own unique set of gifts and talents and while I am not entirely clear what Evelyn Lozada’s are, we can not fault her for getting back “out there” and doing what she needs to do to support herself. All I’m saying is that it would be wise to wait a while.
Nomalanga helps Black Women thrive in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , Assistant Professor of Professional Studies and the reigning Mrs Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s blog at successfulblackwoman.com