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If you’ve been reading the news lately, you know that TJ Holmes no longer has a show on BET. We don’t know the primary reasons for this departure, but outsiders could easily see that this was the honeymoon that was never meant to be. BET has an audience that isn’t a very good fit for men like TJ, so both BET and TJ were probably hoping to create a relationship that could never really happen.
So, in the spirit of good clean fun, the Your Black World team came up with a list of reasons that BET and TJ Holmes didn’t have a chance to work out in the first place. Here it goes, the top 10 reasons that BET parted ways with TJ Holmes:
1) Because most of the show’s in-house audience learned how to twerk and booty pop before they could count to 10
2) BET CEO Debra Lee still believes that it should be illegal for black people to learn how to read
3) TJ clearly doesn’t have enough tattoos or baby’s mamas
4) He wasn’t as good as their first choices to host the show, Shawty Lo and Wiz Khalifa
5) TJ didn’t know how to properly pronounce the new BET slogan “ We got you” (He kept saying “We’ve got you.” Proper grammar is clearly unacceptable). No, we’re not joking. “We got you” really is the new BET slogan, so please stop laughing.
6) It’s hard to create a good show on a budget of $25 dollars a week
7) TJ wouldn’t let the network brand him with their catchy new nicknames: “Edu-macated Gangsta,” “The Corporate Thug,” and “Three Chains.”
8) TJ objected to their suggestion that he create a “Liquor, Weed and Hoes” segment on the show
9) He consistently violated BET’s policy of having no guests who went to college or use three syllable words. He also refused to decorate the set of his show with all gold everything.
10) BET’s market research concluded that the trend of more black people getting educated was just a passing fad, but “sizzurp” would always be in style.
Our advice to BET is that you can’t try to become something you’re not. You spent 30 years tearing down the black community, now smart black people have turned you off their TV sets. As the sophisticated man said to the stripper in VIP, “Stay in ya lane shawty, stay in ya lane.” BET no longer has a monopoly on black television, and there are other things that we can watch.
The Your Black World Team