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BlackLifeCoaches: Looking Beyond The Looking Glass

In the fairy tale Snow White, the wicked, vain and narcissistic queen stepmother becomes jealous when her magical mirror declares Snow White to be the fairest woman in all the land. For years, the stepmother had been the fairest woman in outward appearance. Snow White endured sorrow, heartache and adversity because of her stepmother’s jealousy. Read More »

The (Ree)lationship Guide: Here’s One Thing That Arouses Women…

by Ree, "The (Ree)lationship Guide" According to research, a man's touch (specifically on the chest or face) arouses women. Researchers wanted to discover how other emotions-- aside from stress and anger-- impact facial temperature. They took heat-showing pictures of two groups of young heterosexual women during a standard interaction with an experimenter, which included touching the arm, palm, face and chest (using a light probe that they were told measures skin color). The facial and chest skin of a young female, when touched in those areas by a male experimenter, got about 0.54 F (0.3 C) hotter. " Women showed a temperature increase when they were involved in social contact with the male experimenter ," study researcher Amanda Hahn, of the University of St. Andrews, in the United Kingdom, told LiveScience. " In some women they changed by almost a whole degree" Celsius, or 1.8 degrees Fahrenheit." Now that you know what to do, you may want to reconsider your response to that request your woman made of you to give her a massage. Do you want to be her sole source of arousal? Or do you want the Idris Elba look-a-like at the spa to be the source of her arousal? If you're content with the latter option, don't become upset when she spends more time at the spa than she does with you. Ree “The REE-lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her Twitter: @iDateDaily Questions, comments, and/or concerns can be addressed to Ree via email at TheREElationshipGuide@gmail.com The post The (Ree)lationship Guide: Here’s One Thing That Arouses Women… appeared first on Black Like Moi . Read More »

The Truth Is…God is Faithful and provides faith to his people

  Heb 11:1 states, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Faith is believing without any doubt that we will receive what we desire.  Faith is absolute certainty that we will attain what we seek.  As a Christian we desire to have eternal life, eternal peace, eternal joy and eternal righteousness. However, we don’t have the power nor do I know of any other human with power enough to accomplish these things. But our faith makes us believe that there is a God who has absolute power to fulfill the desires our hearts. How did we come to receive this type of faith? The Apostle Paul says in Romans 10:17, “Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” Hebrews 11:6 states, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him .” How do we have access to such a great being such as God? In the book of John chapter 14 verses 6 and 7 Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.  If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”  We have access to God through Jesus Christ. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade —kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.  In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire —may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him ; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:3-9 “We live by faith, not by sight.” Let us not have faith in ourselves to accomplish the great things we desire, but let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Jesus is our hope and our certainty of God’s promises. God is Faithful and provides faith to his people. Let us always put our trust in God through the faith we have in God’s only son, Jesus. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Prayer:  Holy Father, thank you for the faith you have given your children of the promise. For what our hearts desire you have accomplished through Jesus our Lord and savior. It is in the name of Jesus we pray, in which we have access to your glory. Read More »

5 Lessons Learned from the Parents of an Olympian

Let me be real with you, I am the last person you would pick to play Spades, let alone an actual sport. Despite this, even I have been fixated on the Olympics and even gleaned some parental pearls of wisdom from it. So, while my volleyball serve or jump shot will not improve, I am Read More »

What Emotion Are You Hiding? Check Before You Act

“Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge.”~ Audre Lorde Too frequently, I hear the phrase “I just want to be happy” in response to any and every circumstance imaginable. I’ve heard Oprah Winfrey ask many of her show’s guests, “What is your dream for your children?” Countless times the response is “I just Read More »

Money lessons to teach children, teens and young adults

I’m sure you’ve muttered the phrases, “If I only knew then, what I know now” or “If I could just step into a time machine”. Since you can’t turn back time and avoid some of your mistakes, you probably do the next best thing. You try to teach your kids, so they don’t have to repeat your mistakes and go through as many obstacles as you had to hurdle to reach your goals. Well, my mistake is that I mismanaged, misused and abused money in my younger years and I suffered for it with bad credit, a car repossession and brokeness. Now, that I’ve learned my lesson and have good credit, all my bills paid and money saved, I’m turning around and teaching good money habits to as many young people as I can. Earlier today, I had the privilege to speak in front of a couple dozen children from preschool to just out of high school, along with their parents at a local church. It was gratifying to witness their transformation when they understood what I was teaching them about money. I could see their heads brighten up into light bulbs. This must be how preachers feel when they see people come to Jesus in church. Read 5 important money lessons I taught kids and their parents today, including what is keeping you broke and how to eliminate costly habits, on my financial advice blog, www.mytensense.com . The post Money lessons to teach children, teens and young adults appeared first on Black Like Moi . Read More »

Nomalanga: How to Thrive as a Black Person in a Non-inclusive Workplace

Last week, I wrote about what it is like to work in a place where you are singled out because you are different . Over 100 people responded with comments, e-mails and Facebook messages, indicating to me that there was a need for some suggestions as to how “we” can thrive in the workplace. I am generally not a big proponent of deliberately segregating people, whether the segregation is based on race or other differences. That being said, I do feel that it is naive or ignorant to pretend that we can all function in modern day workplace settings with the same outlook. I have taken the time to compile some suggestions that can be helpful if a person of color finds themselves in a workplace that does not embrace diversity and inclusion in a sincere way. A lot of companies and institutions say that diversity and inclusion are one of their “big initiatives” but they tend to only give lip service to said initiative and then go on functioning the same way that they have always functioned.The results is then a workplace where people of color are marginalized and treated unfairly. Here are a few suggestions to thrive as a Black person in a non-inclusive workplace: Expect the best but prepare for undesirable incidents: No one wants to work with a black man or woman who walks around looking to be offended or constantly pulling out the “race card”. It is important to be pleasant, competent and generally a good person and employee. When you are able to get along with others and acquire the skill to “pick your battles”, your work-life will be much more pleasant.Even though you may make the effort to get along with everyone, be diligent about documenting every incident that comes to your attention, that may be an issue later on. Confirm everything via letter and e-mail and verify everything via e-mail and letter only. Speak up: It is important to be vocal about what you are affected by. When a co-worker or employer says or does something that you feel is not right, it is important to send them a letter or e-mail-remember: document everything . In the letter or e-mail, be professional and cordial and express what has negatively impacted you and express a desire to resolve the issue. There is no limit to how many times you should do this.Sometimes it may seem like you write too many letters or e-mails, but in some work-places, that is what is warranted. Remember though, exercise some discretion and “pick your battles”. Also,bear in mind that if you don’t speak up, you’re more susceptible to a “blow up”. A lot of people who seem to have a rage-filled explosion are usually people who have not learned the skill of vocalizing their concerns in a timely and professional manner. Know your rights: Unfortunately, many employers take advantage of employees’ ignorance. If you know what is expected of you as an employee and are meeting said expectations, you should have a pleasant work environment. If you are asked to do something that is beyond the scope of your job, you have the right to refuse and you should not have negative action taken against you. Report illegal actions that violate your rights : Workplaces have policies and a channel that employees and employers must follow to resolve problems in the workplace. It is important to report any actions by other employees or your employer in a timely manner. Again, always conduct yourself professionally so that when you are offended, your reaction to the offense does not overshadow the original offense. Finally, if you have reported unfair treatment or a violation of your rights and no action is taken, do not hesitate to contact outside agencies, such as EEOC, to work at a resolution. Get mentors : A mentor does not have to have the same job as you. They do have to be a responsible and knowledgeable person, with more experience than you, that you trust to support and guide you through workplace challenges. Having a mentor has been proven to accelerate most people’s careers and is also a great way to build meaningful lifelong relationships. Even having said all this, I still firmly believe that no one should ever have to depend on a job,  entirely, to feed themselves or their loved ones. Even though, as a college instructor, I am charged with the task of delivering instruction that helps to prepare students to become employees, I never end a semester without encouraging dialogue about how the students can use their gifts and talents to generate resources for themselves that are not tied to a job. I do always jokingly remind the students to pursue these ventures in a way that is legal, moral and ethical. At the end of the day, there is always the option to change jobs if you feel like you’re constantly singled out but there is no guarantee that the next job will not have the same problems. It is better to get in the habit of learning to function in any work place and always knowing that you have taken the necessary precautions rather than reacting to a negative experience unexpectedly. Read More »

The (Ree)lationship Guide: Why Did Gabby’s Mom Pretend that She Did Everything Without a Man?

by Ree, "The (Ree)lationship Guide" As a slew of people around the world joined in celebration of Gabby Douglas' record-breaking Olympics performances, I watched video after video of her mother, Natalie Hawkins, telling the world about the number of sacrifices she made to help Douglas become the young champion she is today. Initially I thought Hawkins shared the story of so many 'typical' African American single-mothers who, in their youth, chose to have a child by a selfish, irresponsible man who fled town the moment he got word of the pregnancy. I was a bit stunned to learn that Hawkins had actually married Douglas' father and they're currently seeking a divorce. Timothy Douglas, an Air National Guard Staff Sgt., was deployed from his family in 2007, leaving his wife to raise their four children in his absence. While being a single parent under any circumstance is challenging, I find it interesting that Hawkins chooses to identify herself with a demographic of single moms that haven't seen their child's father their pregnancy. She fails to mention any role that Douglas' father plays in their daughter's journey to become an Olympic Gold Medalist. Here are two ways that Hawkins attempts to identify with the plight of 'typical' single mothers: 1. Sole Proprietorship. Hawkins acts as if she created Gabby Douglas asexually. Most people didn't know Douglas' father was in the picture prior to reading this article . Because of his deployment, Timothy Douglas is unable to be actively involved in his daughter's life; however, Hawkins' deliberate attempt to dismiss his existence shows that she feels Gabby is 'her' daughter and not their daughter. 2. Exclusion from Decisions. Hawkins makes it very clear that she made all of the sacrifices that helped Douglas make it to the Olympics. Did Timothy Douglas not make a sacrifice to take care of his family by joining the military? Did he not make a sacrifice when he was deployed, leaving behind his loved ones? Timothy Douglas' sacrifice to feed his family by joining the military is overshadowed by Hawkins' continued self-appraisal of her own sacrifices. Did she consult with Timothy Douglas prior to making decisions about their daughter's career? In conclusion, distance may have slightly hindered Timothy Douglas' physical support for his daughter, but his sacrifices should be attributed to her success as well. Natalie Hawkins' decision to identify herself as the 'typical' single black mom is insulting to the single black mothers whose child's father has chosen not to be involved in the child's life at all. Hawkins is fortunate to not have to share the same plight as these women, yet she plays on the emotions of these women as if she is one of them. Ree “The REE-lationship Guide” is a graduate of Clark Atlanta University. She is a contributing writer for YourBlackWorld.net and BlackLikeMoi.com. Follow her Twitter: @iDateDaily Questions, comments, and/or concerns can be addressed to Ree via email at TheREElationshipGuide@gmail.com The post The (Ree)lationship Guide: Is Gabby Douglas’ Mom the ‘Typical’ Single Mom? No, She’s Not appeared first on Black Like Moi . Read More »

BlackLifeCoaches.net: Dream Job vs. Job to Pay the Bills

I’m not a fan of Country Western music, but there is one song I have liked since I was a little kid. It’s called “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers. The chorus goes, “You’ve gotta know when to hold them … know when to fold them … know when to walk away … know when to Read More »

How to Ask Management for Help Without Feeling Guilty

Being new to a job, or not fully experience in a specific task is often an embarrassing situation. Even though your manager has gone through the trouble of making sure that you’re completely trained, it’s not uncommon for some things to slip, and it’s quite simple for you to forget even the slightest process. Unfortunately, Read More »

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